Update

I recently posted a progress photo of myself in a swimsuit. I’m not posing to look pretty, I don’t even think I’m smiling.

People are angry with me for posting such a scandalous photo. It is a photograph I am proud of. In in I no longer weigh 93lbs, I have at least 3 days of food stored up.

Last March when my dad passed, I was a wreck. One of my biggest struggles at the time was my body no longer told me to eat. At all. I was NEVER just peckish or what have you. I was a pound away from my body just eating itself. When I finally decided I was normal enough to be seen everyone just assumed I was on drugs. I needed help. I was still very much broken, I broke my hand having it slammed in a car door and I dislocated a knee cap all in the same week! Bring me was not good at the time. I WAS pregnant (long enough for a positive test) but lost it due to the immense pressure I was being put under to remember things that happened while my brain was broken. Everything I said I believed to be true at the time I said it.

This post has been running through my head all morning.

Now my mom has cancer. Screw life. Screw life right in the eyeball.